Standings Before Episode 10

Tyler & James: (Team Number 1) Hey boys! You finished in front of the Beauties for a change! That's gotta feel good. Well, you stayed focused, and didn't get hopelessly lost for a change. That makes all the difference in the world. Well, I think that you're certainly in thee running for the big money. If you can finish in front of the girls on THAT leg, you're millionaires. Just DON'T GET LOST, for goodness sake. Dustin & Kandice: (Team Number 2) How is it these girls always finish at the top of the pack, but never get dirty or seem to break a sweat? I mean, I toally need to learn this trick. They crawl through mud... and don't get dirty. They drive tanks through mud... and don't get dirty. Man, they really do learn some beauty tricks in the pageant world, don't they? Well girls, just keep doing what you're doing. Obviously Phil wants you to be the first "all female" team to win. He brings it up every week. You two are certainly in a good position to do it! You haven't even broken a sweat yet. (That's against Pageant rules I think.) Rob & Kimberly: (Team Number 3) I don't think that Rob has gotten any better, but Kim is just getting smarter about when to speak up, and when to let Rob have his little fits. I still don't think these two will work well enough together to get near the big prize money, but the planets have aligned for these two in the past... maybe it will again. Lyn & Karlyn: (Team Number 4) Well, these fair weather friends dumped the Chos and made a run for it. So they're still in it, and the Cho's are going home. Now, the Chos would have driven ME crazy too with all of their indecision... but the Bama girls could have handled it better. They could have just told them that they wanted to split off and do their own thing instead of just driving away and leaving them in the dust. Oh well, I imagine they will be going home next week themselves, so turning their back on their best allies will catch up to them soon enough.

Standings Before Episode 9

Episode 8 Dustin & Kandice in first place David & Mary Eliminated Dustin & Kandice: (Team Number 1) And the Beauties do it again! I mean, I don't think it was necessary to stick another team with the car that they dented up last episode, but other than that these two are just on the ball and outperforming all of the other teams. Sure, they could be nicer... but if they win they'll be enjoying their money long after they've forgotten the names of the rest of the racers. But they did get to feel a bit of a sting when they suddenly were required to depend on someone else, and they realized that no one wanted to work with them. An olive leaf here and there wouldn't kill you now, would it girls? Tyler & James: (Team Number 2) Honestly, I still can't tell these two apart. But one of them is truly useless with reading maps and giving directions... and given the fact that they are in a race, that is something he might want to have brushed up on before this whole adventure. These guys were a bit too smug on the Fast Forward, and if they were any more casual they might have showed up at the Pit Stop behind all of the other teams. I keep hoping these two will kind of get scared straight from finishing so awkwardly each week. But when they always have other teams finishing behind them, I can understand why they don't feel the need to change their approach too much. Rob & Kimberly: (Team Number 3) Wait a minute. Was this a bicker-free episode? I think maybe it was! Now that's hard to believe. Of course, these two always behave better when there are others watching them. They don't want to appear bitter and ugly... but I guess they should have thought of that before they agreed to having a cameraman with them 24/7 capturing everything they do and say and broadcasting it on national television. Well, whatever the reason, they played very nice this week and it was good to see them getting along. Now if they could only maintain that, they might stay in the running for the big check at the end. Erwin & Godwin: (Team Number 4) They nice guys didn't finish first, but they didn't finish last either. Given the fact that the other teams that they've allied themselves with just aren't that good, they've been able offer as much help as possible, and yet still almost be guaranteed that one other team will be finishing behind them. But they genuinely seem to be good guys, and it's refreshing to see a team that is completely devoted to the spirit of this race and less concerned about the outcome. I just hope that if they end up being the last of their alliance to survive, that they'll just put their game faces on and put all their energy into just blazing through the rest of the race. Lyn & Karlyn: (Team Number 5) These two, on the other hand, don't seem to be enjoying themselves at all. They're sticking with it, and doing better than I thought, but it all seems to be such a chore to them. I get the impression they secretly wish to get eliminated soon, so they can be put out of their misery but not look like quitters. Well they may get their wish soon, because they just don't seem to have the fire that the rest of the teams do. And I think that will keep them in the back of the pack until they are eliminated.

Standings Before Episode 8

Episode 7 Dustin & Kandice in first place David & Mary marked for elimination Dustin & Kandice: (Team Number 1) Not exactly sugar & spice and everything nice, but definiitely kicking butt in this race. These two won't walk away from this experience with any life-long friends, but they may very well walk away with the winner's check. They are making smart decisions and sticking with them, and keeping their heads. Of course, they're taking time out here and there to mess with some of the other teams too. They enjoy ruffling the feathers of Kar/Lyn... although really, it's just so darn easy, why not? Tyler & James: (Team Number 2) Okay! The boys are back! They've done their time bringing up the rear, it's about time they got their act together and finished up towards the front again. But they are making stupid mistakes... taking off without any idea where they're going, getting lost again and AGAIN. Slow down boys and think! It's a good thing you've got strength on your side to help you catch up from all your silly mistakes. But eventually, that won't be enough and you may find yourself going home! Rob & Kimberly: (Team Number 3) The squabbling and nipping has returned! Although, I think it's actually Rob that is the bigger whiner. If he wouldn't have a hissy fit every time things went badly, these two would be a lot calmer. But he has a fit, he takes it out on Kim, and then they're both at each other's throats. A match made in heaven! Despite all this, the stress of it all seems to feed them through each leg... because here they are! Still sitting solidly in the middle of the pack. Oh my gosh... imagine the fights they will have if they actually win, and have to decide what to do with this money! Erwin & Godwin: (Team Number 4) The brother's are still being boy scouts first, and competitors last. It's keeping them in the game so far, but at least one of the teams they're allied with won't return the favor. It was nice to see the brother's run to the check-in point ahead of Kar/Lyn, even after helping them and Kentucky throughout the leg. That at least indicates that the brothers will still do their best for themselves once they've helped their alliance as much as possible. That's good news, because Kar/Lyn will be happy to step on their back to get a win if necessary... alliance or not. Lyn & Karlyn: (Team Number 5) Well these two can b*tch at high volume, can't they? I swear, they had everyone in the airport turned around to see what they were complaining about when the Beauties let the Models buy their tickets in front of Kar/Lyn. Just being louder and more obnoxious doesn't actually make you right. This team kind of bugs me. They're taking whatever advantage they can get from their alliance with Kentucky and the Cho brothers, but will drop it in a second as soon as it benefits them to do so. At least you know the Beauties are out for themselves, they aren't going to spring it on their "friends" as soon as it's convienent. David & Mary: (Team Number 6) Ah well... without a fantastic sacrafice by another team, these two find themselves all the way at the bottom again. At a certain point, they have to earn it themselves... and I'm just not sure this team has everything it needs to continue on successfully. They depend on others TOO much, and it's just too far into the race to not be able to stand independently. I hope the Cho brothers don't sacrafice themselves again for these two... because otherwise I think a more deserving team will be going home.

Standings Before Episode 7

David & Mary in first place Peter & Sarah eliminated David & Mary: (Team Number 1) Well lookie, lookie! From the back of the pack, to leading the pack. Nicely done! Now, these two may not be my favorite personalities in the race, but I think they are certainly one of the most deserving of the prize... so it's nice that they get a view from the top for once. They couldn't have got there without the help of Ed/God, but at least they know it, and are happy to give them credit for their good fortune. I don't know if these guys will be able to maintain their position, but they've certainly been given a nice head start. Let's see what they can do with it. Dustin & Kandice: (Team Number 2) Well, these two got lost, didn't initially complete the Road Block task correctly, and STILL came in second place. These girls are hungry for it, and are surprising more than a few of the other teams. They're in it for themselves, that's for sure... not working with any other teams, and not even being that friendly with anyone else. But it's getting results. So why fix what ain't broken? Rob & Kimberly: (Team Number 3) What's this? Are these two actually starting to work well together, and treat each other nicely? Who knew? I was convinced that this couple was on the fast track to self-destruction, but they've actually started to hit a bit of a stride with one another, and it's certainly showing by their stronger finishes. Let's just hope they don't have to return to a pearl farm in Vietnam anytime soon. Lyn & Karlyn: (Team Number 4) These ladies continue to surprise me. They are still in the hunt, and not even bringing up the rear which I thought that they would. They've lucked into having two other good teams look out for them, and I'm not sure they would have got as far without their help. But even individually, this team is strong and stubborn, and they haven't even considered giving up. If there is a big physical challenge coming up, it may really impact them... but they've managed to weather everything that's been thrown at them so far, so they may just plug along right to the end. Erwin & Godwin: (Team Number 5) Okay, who doesn't want these brothers to win the big prize after tonight's episode? They genuinely think of others before themselves, putting themselves at a huge risk by giving David & Mary a chance at the fast forward, and even helping point Kar/Lyn towards the right shop in that maze of merchants. These guys are just truly good people, and aren't putting it on for the show. Their parents must be so proud! Tyler & James: (Team Number 6) These guys have to be in a panic after finishing next to last two times in a row. They seem to be one of the strongest teams, but that just goes to show you there are all kinds of factors that can make you successful, or knock you right out, in this race. Hopefully they can bounce back from these two bad legs, and get things turned around next time. I'd hate to see these guys go home.

A Study in Contrasts

First of all, let’s all give a joyous “Hallelujah” to celebrate that Stupid Peter is out of the race! It’s just sweet to say, isn’t it? Man… this guy is just like nails on a chalkboard (kids, that’s what old folks used to use before these newfangled white boards started showing up). There wasn’t a thing about him that wasn’t grating and irritating. Let’s take for example his tendency to shove all the difficult and challenging physical tasks on to his girlfriend WITH ONE LEG. I mean, what kind of man is that? What kind of man wants to be a man like that? “Hey, Sarah, why don’t you go scale that 50-ft rock, while I sit her and nap in the boat? Hey, Sarah, why don’t you scale the outside of that skyscraper while I lay her in the shade? What, someone has to sit through driving school, and then drive a car around the block? Hey, I’ll do that! But first, let me check my look in the rear-view mirror… because I am one handsome man!” Peter is just plain Ick. And we can only hope that Sarah learns a little something from all this. Just because you only have one leg, doesn’t mean you deserve to have to put up with an ass like that! My gosh, he’s the defective one, not you. I loved Peter’s puzzled look when after the elimination, Sarah was finally telling us how she really felt about him after experiencing life with him 24/7 while on the race. “He isn’t very nurturing or kind.” Well, yah… that’s the understatement of the year. “I’m looking for someone that is caring and compassionate. Peter… is not the person for me.” Yep. And thanks to CBS, he’s not gong to be the person for any other woman in America either. On the other hand, we have the brothers Cho: Edwin and Godwin. Could either of these guys have been any nicer? You know, you often hear tales of people being selfless, and really putting the needs and interests of others before themselves… but you rarely see it. But these two were just unwaveringly generous. They gave up going for the Fast Forward, to give Mary & David a clear shot… even though it put them square in last place. And you know what? They just knew it was the right thing to do. Yeah, they were concerned they were going to be eliminated… but it didn’t consume them. They did there thing, and then had the good fortune of finding a police officer willing to direct them and give them a police escort to their new location. That Karma… she’s a sweetie. And these guys have been consistently kind and grounded throughout the entire race. They have taken the time to appreciate all that they’ve been able to do and see, and the potential check at the end of this all doesn’t seem to figure into it as much as you would think it would. They are truly treasuring the experience, and will get more out of this than any of the teams, no matter how it all ends. Yeah, I know… it sounds sappy. But I’m truly impressed by these two. I was so happy that they stayed and Stupid Peter went home. I was all befuddled and irritated last week when Peter & Sarah were at the top of the pack, when they so clearly did not deserve to be there. I should have had more faith in the Race Karma. She tends to get it right before the final finish line. The winner SHOULD be... Despite what team may actually win, if you were in control, which team would you give the million to? David & Mary Dustin & Kandice Rob & Kimberly Lyn & Karlyn Erwin & Godwin Tyler & James Current Results

Standings Before Episode 6

Peter & Sarah in first place David & Mary marked for elimination Peter & Sarah: (Team Number 1) Arrrrgh! It’s bad enough that these two don’t get eliminated, but why do they keep coming in first? Peter is such an ass, and blind to it completely. He drags Sarah through every step, and this damn habit of them finishing at the front of the pack is only going to encourage him to continue on with his self-centered ways. I feel so bad for Sarah. The only good news is that she is beginning to see what an ass Peter is as well. She had the good fortune of giving their relationship a nice test run in an environment that has surfaced all of his crappy qualities… and if things continue on this way, she’ll end the experience with a cool half a mill, and the wisdom that Peter is NOT the right guy to plan a future with. Dustin & Kandice: (Team Number 2) Well, these girls have kicked it into full competitive gear, and they’re not afraid to step on any toes to try and win this thing. Anyone that thinks these to are going to be quiet and demure and easy to beat, haven’t been paying attention. However, they don’t have to be nasty at every available opportunity. There isn’t a leg that goes by now that they don’t cut in front of someone or get downright rude with another team. By all means, ladies… go for the win. But there are other teams out there that want it just as bad, but aren’t acting as badly. Rob & Kimberly: (Team Number 3) Ack. Another of the not-so-nice teams finishing towards the top. This season is not exactly giving lessons in “good guys finish first”. They did seem to keep their squawking to a minimum this time around, so maybe the fact that Phil actually spoke to them about their mean behavior at the end of last leg embarrassed them into being nicer. It was a good move to team up with James & Tyler. Unfortunately they did it on the one leg that James & Tyler seemed to be a bit off their game. Well, we’ll see how they continue to do. I imagine the yelling and screaming will return if they start dropping further back in the pack. Erwin & Godwin: (Team Number 4) Now, this is a nice team. Two nice guys that play well with others, and don’t forget to appreciate the fantastic opportunity that they’ve been handed. I wish they were a little closer to the top. They certainly are capable, but they need to find a source of fire for their competitive spirit to challenge some of the other nasties for the top spots. Regardless, this is one team that is just happy to be here, and will enjoy the ride no matter where they end up. Teams 1 through 3 – pay attention! You could learn something here. Of course, then you might not be one of the top 3 teams anymore… but you’d be enjoying yourself more. Lyn & Karlyn: (Team Number 5) These two ladies just don’t give up, do they? They aren’t the sweetest of the teams, they aren’t the smartest of the teams, and they certainly aren’t the most physical of the teams… but they just keep trudging through leg after leg, and don’t seem to really be slowing down. Whatever it is that keeps pushing them through is keeping them focused… and they’ve figured out an important strategy: it doesn’t matter how many teams finish in front of you, as long as there is still at least one finishing behind you. They can make it leg after leg as long as they stay ahead of just one team each time… and they seem to be able to manage that. Tyler & James: (Team Number 6) These two were more than a little surprised to discover they finished so far back in the pack. That’s what you get for playing with sand, guys. NEVER take the challenge that is slow and detail-oriented. You two could wrestle crocodiles in your sleep, so I don’t get why you didn’t automatically go for the more physical of the choices. Well, I imagine you won’t make that mistake again. Let this bad finish shake you up a bit, and get you more fired up for next leg. We need a couple of good guys like you to stick around to offset some of the nastiness in the top three teams. David & Mary: (Team Number 7) Ooooooooh! You two are SO lucky! Welcome to the first non-elimination leg. It couldn’t have come at a better time for these two. Mary can sure be damn stubborn about deciding what these two are going to do. It almost cost them the race when she wouldn’t even consider the crocodile task, and insisted on the long, laborious sand design task instead. I’m glad to see these guys still here, they’ve kind of grown on me. But I’m not sure they be able to bounce back from the penalty they’ll get next week if they don’t pull of some kind of miracle and come in first.

Crocodile Tails and Wild Rice

Well, let’s do a quick recap of the last episode, shall we? Our intrepid travelers discover that their next port of call will be Chennai, India. They must take a train from the pit stop to Hanoi, and then due to Vietnamese law that prevents airline tickets from being sold at the airport, the teams must find a travel agency to buy tickets to India. Although the teams all leave at staggered start times, they all arrive at the train station to discover they will be on the same train to Hanoi. (Are we surprised? No, we are not.) During the train ride, Er/God, Kar/Lyn, and the Kentuckies decide to work together. They all share a map, and try and determine which travel agent is the closest to the train station, and make a plan of attack for when they arrive in Hanoi. Stupid Peter feels left out. He approaches the three teams, and offers to share information… because of course he is an all-knowing god, and implies that he know the best travel agent to go to. Before the teams can even reply, Stupid Peter walks off towards the next train car. There he finds the Beauties, and tattles to them that the other three teams are working together. Because he too wants to know what it’s like to have other teams wanting to work with him, he tells the Beauties that they should work together too. More in an effort to appease him and make him go away, they agree. Stupid Peter feels smug, and returns to Sarah to share the good news… that the Beauties totally want to work with him, and it is yet another example of how great and admired he is. In the meantime, the Beauties wonder why the heck he wants to work with them, and figure it must be because he likes one of them – because of course in their experience, all guys like them. On his way back to where Sarah is sitting, Peter stops by the three teams again, and asks them if they want to share information. Kar/Lyn says sure… and Stupid Peter smugly walks away without saying anything. The three teams decide to screw with Stupid Peter, and pull out a non-operational cell phone and pretend to call a travel agent and reserve tickets over the phone. Stupid Peter immediately jumps up and runs back to the Beauties to tell on them. He finds a passenger sitting near the Beauties and asks if he can borrow a cell phone. He then uses the fully operational cell phone to actually book airline tickets for real. Hmmm… that whole little trick kind of backfired on you, didn’t it guys? The train arrives in Hanoi, and teams scramble every which way to locate travel agents and buy tickets. After all their planning, Ed/God, Kar/Lyn, and the Kentuckies end up getting separated, and then discover that the travel agency they planned to go to on the train has actually moved location… and they all end up having to find tickets on the fly anyway. The Beauties and Sarah & Stupid Peter go and pick up their tickets, but end up getting a flight that will leave behind all of the other teams. Rob & Kimberly and the Models find and agency together, and end up getting the earliest flight out. Once they arrive at the airport, the teams begin to discover that the best flight to get on is the same flight that the Models and Rob & Kimberly have booked. Ed/God have the same tickets from their agency, Kar/Lyn are able to change theirs, however the Kentuckies are not. The Kentuckies get a different flight, while Sarah & Stupid Peter and the Beauties decide to stay with their tickets, and try and get a faster connecting flight at their first stop. While waiting for the various flights to board, Sarah & Stupid Peter and the Beauties grab a bite. While sitting there, Stupid Peter launches into a mean imitation of the Kentuckies, while they are within earshot. Stupid Peter is awful… even Sarah is beginning to think so. (Oh my heck, woman… it’s about time!!) Flights begin taking off. Sadly, wouldn’t you know it… Stupid Peter & Sarah and the Beauties ARE able to find a faster connecting flight. So even thought they were the last teams to leave Hanoi, they are the first teams to arrive in Chennai. Man, I hate how this show ends up working out for the teams that don’t deserve it, don’t you? Once in Chennai, the teams are told to find an arts and crafts shop in Mallomar (or something like that). The Beauties are the first to arrive at Mallomar, but are forced to wait for the shop to open. Stupid Peter and Sarah arrive shortly after. When the shop opens, they receive their next clue and find out, it’s Detour time!! This time, they have to choose between Wild Things, and Wild Rice: In Wild Things, they have to don pajamas, and search through the forest to find out where the wild things are. Oh no, wait a minute… that’s my favorite children’s book. Nevermind. They have to help some crocodile wranglers move a miniature, docile, couldn’t-hurt-a-fly crocodile from one habitat to another. In Wild Rice, they have to figure out how come every time you buy wild rice at the store, it always comes packaged with brown rice. Oh fine… no they don’t. They have to fill in some gigantinormous chalk-lined design on the scotching hot ground with different colored rice to match the design exactly as given to them on a picture. But I do wonder about that wild rice thing. The Beauties and Sarah & Stupid Peter decide to do Wild Things. Stupid Peter & Sarah arrive first, thanks to a flat tire suffered by the Beauties taxi. Stupid Peter & Sarah have to put bands around the crocodile’s snout. Peter need not bother, because that crocodile can smell that he’s full of sh*t, and wouldn’t ever bite him anyway. Regardless, Stupid Peter once again just takes the position of ordering Sarah around and making her do it. After it is snout-bound, the crocodile is tied to a stretcher, and the wranglers, with Sarah & Stupid Peter’s help, move it to it’s new home, having to crawl over a wall in the process. While crawling over the wall, Stupid Peter snaps at Sarah to “Come on, sister!” We wish the crocodile would snap at Stupid Peter’s pretty face and mark him up a bit. Too mean? Well, I don’t like Stupid Peter. Anyway, as much as we hate to see it, Stupid Peter finishes the task along with Sarah, and once again is sitting in first place. (heavy sigh) Their next clue tells them to take a bus back to Chennai, and locate a driving school. They rush to the bus stop, and just miss the first bus. Stupid Peter immediately turns on Sarah and tells her it’s her fault because she was so slow. Man, I hate Stupid Peter. Sarah just about breaks down, and Stupid Peter decides to toy with her more by calmly stating that he’ll just not trying so hard, since she can’t keep up. He goes on to say that it’s not important, and it should just be about having fun. Sarah tells Stupid Peter that she’s not having any fun. These two make my stomach hurt. Meanwhile, the Beauties transport a crocodile, and catch up with Sarah & Stupid Peter at the bus stop. You can tell that Stupid Peter is pissed at slow Sarah all over again. At the same time, Er/God and the Kar/Lyn have arrived at the Detour and decided to do Wild Rice. They step out onto the scorching ground, do just enough to realize what a long miserable task this will be, and quickly decide to go crocodile wrestling instead. In the meantime, Rob and Kimberly have arrived and decided to do Wild Things. As Er/God and Kar/Lyn leave Wild Rice, the Models and the Kentuckies both decide to do Wild Rice. On the other side of town, Stupid Peter & Sarah are the first to arrive at the driving school, and discover a Road Block. One team member must attend a driving school course, and then pass a driving test. Since it requires no physical effort, Stupid Peter of course offers to do it. He finishes the task, and gets their last clue that tells them to drive their driving-school car to the pit stop. They head off on their way. In the meantime, the Beauties have arrived, and dive into the Road Block themselves. Back with the crocodiles, Rob & Kimberly, Ed/God, and Kar/Lyn, transport their crocodiles and head off to the driving school. In the meantime, the Models and the Kentuckies are taking an impossibly long time filling in their designs with wild rice. Really guys… you should abandon this and go do the crocodile thing. Trust me. Stupid Peter and Sarah arrive at the Pit Stop and check in first. I curse under my breath. The Beauties check in shortly after. Rob & Kimberly, Ed/God, and Kar/Lyn all complete their driving lessons, and drive on to the pitstop. They check in as teams three, four, and five respectively. The Models finally finish their design, race off to driving school, and make their way to the pit stop. They check in fifth, and are all shocked by their late finish. However, they are not last. That position is held securely by the Kentuckies, who after spending way too much time on the rice design, complete the driving school in the dark, and then finally arrive at the Pit Stop. They are sad and beaten, and awaiting the confirmation that they have been eliminated. But… what’s this…? Phil regrets to tell them that they are the last team to arrive… but they have NOT been eliminated. This is one of those non-elimination legs. But this time around, instead of handing all of their belongings and money over, they are told that they can keep their things… but they have been “Marked for Elimination.” Hmmm… what does this mean? Well, I’m glad you asked. This means, that at the end of the next leg, if the Kentuckies do not arrive first, they will be assessed a 30 minute penalty. Well now, that’s interesting. Will it have an impact? I guess we’ll just have to wait until next time to find out.