Episode 11/12
Rob & Kimberly in first place
Dustin & Kandice Eliminated

Rob & Kimberly:
(Team Number 1)

Lyn & Karlyn:
(Team Number 2)

Tyler & James:
(Team Number 3)



Team Number One
Which team do YOU think is going to win The Amazing Race?

Lyn & Karlyn
Rob & Kimberly
Tyler & James


  • Tyler & James 54%
  • Dustin & Kandice 25%
  • Lyn & Karlyn 17%
  • Rob & Kimberly 4%

Who has been Philiminated?

Dustin & Kandice:


Erwin & Godwin:
Oh my Godwin! Can these two ever make a decision? Now, I really like these two as people... super sweet and always thinking of others before themselves. But there was no way they were ever going to win this race. They wouldn't take the risks, and could not aggresively pursue anything. But they ran a good race, and got more out of it than any of the other teams. So even without the big check, they're walking away feeling like they were still awarded a big prize.

David & Mary:
So the Kentuckies are out of it. You know, you only get so many second chances... and these guys got two. They just didn't have enough to get out of the basement though, so it's time for them to head home. They'll have stories to share forever though. I'd be really interested in how small their world will seem to them when they head back to their hometown. You just can't look at things the same after an adventure like this, and I bet these guys won't go back and plug right back into the life they left before this all started.

Peter & Sarah:
Hurray!! Stupid Peter is going home... and his arrogant attitude can carry the blame for their early departure. Sarah deserved better, but at least she realized what an ass this guy is, and will have no problem moving on without him when they get home. To the very end, Peter shuffled all the difficult and challenging things off to Sarah, and then did nothing but talk down to her everytime things didn't go their way. Although I'll have a lot less to talk about now that he won't be in any future episodes, I'm relieved that we don't have to fear what a million dollar check would do to Peter's already oversized ego.

Tom & Terry:
I was actually really hoping this would be a non-elimination leg after seeing Tom get in the ocean and drag their boat behind him just to finish. Come on, Phil! That deserves another try… right? Oh well… our energetic Tom & Jerry are out of it, and sadly things will be considerably duller now. Too bad they couldn’t have stayed around to continue to infuse some fun and energy into the remaining field of bickering, irritating, and oh-so-serious teams.

Duke & Lauren:
I'm so sorry to see these two go home... they were my personal sentimental favorites. But my gosh, you can only come back from so many mistakes... and tonight they were full of them. Being lost, broke, and taken advantage of by opportunistic locals was all just too much... and the combination finally sent them home. On the personal side of things though, I think they mended some fences. So they may not be going home with bigger bank accounts... but hopefully with a much better understanding of each other.

Kellie & Jamie:
Ladies, all the enthusiasm in the world couldn't help you two this time. We'll miss your synchronized clapping and cheering. Well, actually... not that much. But thanks for playing! And NEXT time, when you see a fellow team driving away in the opposite direction, pull over and find a map for goodness sakes!

Vipul & Arti:
Well, never underestimate the impact of a bad motorbike driver. These guys lost a lot of time when their driver took the long way on the way to the challenge (or more accurately, got hopelessly lost), and they just never could make it back up. Too bad! She was so much fun, it would have been entertaining to have them around for a while.

Balil & Sa'eed:
The victims of the first "surprise" of the season. They were mere seconds behind Erwin and Godwin, but it was enough to send them home. We barely got to know them, but sadly for them the race is over.

Phil:









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Monday, October 09, 2006

A Dong, By Any Other Name...

We join our teams near the rice fields found in the countryside outside of Hanoi, Vietnam. After checking in last time, we are told that Rob (of Rob and Kimberly fame) collapsed after the last check in, and had to be treated for heat exhaustion. He must have been too busy nipping at Kimberly to remember to drink any fluids. We are also told that Mary, the little Missus from the Kentucky team, also had to be looked at due to the twisted ankle she suffered a couple episodes back. But good news, folks! Everyone is going to be okay. The little troopers have all been cleared to continue on in the next leg of the race.

First off are Er/Godwin. They tear into their clue, and find they must return to downtown Hanoi by taxi, and find a garden where they must listen to find their next clue. But first, they must pick up some Vietnamese dong for this leg of the race from a man outside. Yes, in this case it is a good thing to get dong from some guy outside. This will not always be the case, so depending where you are… make sure you completely understand what is to be expected if some guy asks you to go outside with him so he can give you his dong. But here, in Vietnam, on the Amazing Race… no worries.

Er/God get their dong and go. Tyler and James take off next, grab the guy’s dong, and get a taxi. Then they compare dongs, and see who has more. Rob and Kimberly are next. Rob is still a bit woozy from the heat exhaustion, but he grabs the guy’s dong while Kimberly watches. The Beauties race up to grab their share of the guy’s dong, and giggle as they go to find a taxi. We see Stupid Peter and Sarah take off, and load their stuff in a Taxi. In a voiceover, Sarah is trying to diplomatically tell us that she’s learned a lot about Stupid Peter during this experience that she didn’t realize before… mainly that he’s an ass. We didn’t see them stop at the table outside, but then we see a shot of Stupid Peter in the back of the taxi, fondling the guy’s dong… so we know they must have. Kar/Lyn are very polite to they guy, and thank him for sharing his dong with them. He smiles back at them, happy that he could give them what they needed. David and Mary reach out for the guy’s dong and give him a “thunk yooooou” in unison before heading on their way. Last to leave is Tom & Jerry, and they grab each other excitedly when they find out they’re getting’ themselves some genuine Vietnamese dong. They scramble to the table, grab the guy’s dong, thank him profusely, and then race off.

And so ends my fun with the ridiculous name for Vietnamese currency.

Tyler and James are the first to arrive at the garden, and discover a large bronze statue from which a recorded message can be heard. They tear off towards the statue, as other teams begin arriving left and right. Stupid Peter and Sarah arrive, and Stupid Peter immediately snaps at Sarah to be quiet so he can listen for the clue. Then Rob and Kimberly arrive, and Kimberly immediately snaps and Rob to calm down when he tries to see which way Stupid Peter and Sarah went. Then the Beauties arrive, and get distracted when they hear some crickets. They wander over to get a better listen and try and decipher what the crickets are trying to tell them. The Beauties are not doing much to disprove the “pretty but stupid” stereotype that they are concerned they’ve been branded with. Ed/God and Kar/Lyn arrive as well, and seem to head toward the statue without incident. The Beauties finally give up on the crickets, and follow the rest of the team to the statue where they are all treated to this wonderful message, spoken with a heavy Asian accent:

Attention racers. Taxi across the Red River to Ben Xe Giam Lam (sounds like: Ben Sare Sha Lam). Then, take a bus to Ben Xe Bai Chay (sounds like: Ben Sare Buy Chai). Then find the Hydrofoil Harbor.

Wow! The TAR producers are having fun with these teams this season, huh? It is close to impossible for any of these teams to distinguish what is being said. They try of course, and all whip out a pad of paper and start trying to write down what they think this clue is… but as soon as the names of the locations come across, they all look beyond confused and without hope. Stupid Peter of course commands, “Sarah, write it down and get us there!” And then he continues to make stupid reaction noises as the message continues, making it even more difficult for Sarah to hear over his grunts and snorts. They all jot down the clue, and then with various levels of certainty, they head back to their taxis to direct them to the next location.

The smart teams drag their taxi drivers to the statue, and let them listen firsthand to the clue. In this case the “smart” teams are: Tyler & James, and Stupid Peter & Sarah. The really, really stupid teams don’t communicate the location to their driver, OR let them listen to the clue themselves… but instead tell them to follow the taxi of one of the other teams. In this case, the “really, really stupid” team is: Rob and Kimberly. Almost immediately, of course, several motorbikes get between Rob and Kimberly’s cab, and the one they are following, and they lose sight of them. So Rob swears and Kimberly has a breakdown when they end up stuck in the middle of nowhere with no idea where to tell the cab driver to go. Did you see this coming? I did. So, it’s back to the statue for them, while Rob screams at the taxi driver the entire way.

Rob & Kimberly head back, as Tom & Jerry and the Kentuckies arrive at the garden for the first time. Rob has a hissy fit when the taxi finally pulls over the lets them out, and stomps and curses as he grabs their packs out of the back of the taxi a throws some marginal fare at the driver. He clearly blames the driver for the fact that they were too stupid to write down or communicate the location of the clue. The Kentuckies stare at the whole incident, stunned by his behavior. Rob grabs another poor taxi driver, and drags him to the statue to listen to the clue. The Kentuckies bring their driver along as well, and Tom & Jerry are there jotting down the clue also.

Rob & Kimberly start off again with taxi driver number 2. Karma is toying with them this evening however, because he begins to disappoint them almost immediately by driving to slow, and taking them in circles. Rob’s hissy fit returns, Kimberly tells him not to freak out… and soon they are both screaming for this new taxi driver to stop and take them back to the garden. This all makes me giggle.

Rob again throws some marginal fare at driver number 2, telling him that he was of no help and deserves no more. Then they are in search of lucky driver number 3. Truly, wouldn’t all the taxi drivers in the city be running away in the opposite direction by now? They drag off a third driver, a nicely dressed man who seems to actually understand the directions when he hears them, and they are all off again… hopefully in the right direction this time.

In the meantime, the Kentuckies’ driver is having problems of his own, and doesn’t know where to go. In a stunning study in contrasts, the little Missus asks if he would like to return to the garden and listen to the clue again. No screaming. No hissy fits. They patiently wait for the driver to get a better handle on things, and then they take off again. Wow! Mary, I’m going to officially call you by your real name for the rest of the evening, because I was so impressed with your calm polite behavior. Nicely done!

The teams that are experiencing fewer issues with their taxi drivers, begin showing up at the next location. It is a bus station, and SURPRISE! It doesn’t open until 5 a.m. So after all of that drama and screaming… Rob and Kimberly finally show up at the location only to discover they have lost no ground, and should have just enjoyed the ride instead of inflicting themselves on taxi drivers all over the city. For their bad behavior, I now Christen them: Rude and Screamberly.

The clumping factor strikes again, and all the teams are on one bus together heading to Ha Long. They arrive at the harbor, and then pour off the bus in search of their next clue box. David and Mary are the first to reach it, and they open the clue and discover it is a Road Block, asking, “Who has strong arms and legs?”

This time around, one person of each team must use mechanical ascenders to climb 90 feet up a sheer rock. To reach the location of the climb, they all have to take small motorboats out to the island where the rock is. The teams all grab a boat, and head on their way. The Beauties cut in front of Kar/Lyn when grabbing a boat, and get sneered at as a result. Given the fact that this is the second time the Beauties have slipped in front of another team, Karma deals them a blow and the blonde one (whichever) cuts her leg while climbing into the boat. I can’t wait to see what Karma has in store for Stupid Peter. Sadly, we’re going to have to wait for a different episode to find out.

Before arriving at the Road Block location, each of the teams decided who would do the task. Since Sarah is very proud of her strong arms and legs in spite of her “physical challenge”, she agreed to do the task before they arrived. But as the boat pulls up and it becomes clear that this is a rock climb requiring lots of leg strength, she begins to worry. Does Stupid Peter step up, and agree to do it instead? Well, of course not. That would take class, and a genuine concern for someone besides himself… something that Stupid Peter does not possess or understand.

The first three teams to arrive at the site and begin the climb are Tom & Jerry, David & Mary, and Rude & Screamberly. Terry/Jerry (whatever), David, and Rude begin their climb. Sarah and Supid Peter arrive right after, but must wait until one of the other three teams finish before they can climb. This gives Sarah plenty of time to watch and worry, and hear commentary from the other teams already climbing that it takes a lot of leg strength. The camera zooms in on Sarah’s artificial leg, and then on her face with eyes brimming with tears. Stupid Peter makes himself comfortable, throws a half-hearted “You can do it, you have arm strength,” in Sarah’s general direction, and then finds himself something to drink.

Rude gets up and down the cliff, followed soon after by David and Terry/Jerry. Sarah gets ready to start, while Stupid Peter encourages her by squawking, “It’s all in the mind!” as he continues to relax in the boat. Karlyn and Godwin get outfitted as well. The person there to help the climbers is giving direction to Sarah, but once again she has a hard time hearing because Stupid Peter is screeching from the boat, offering her more insincere support while sipping his cool drink. Sarah is finally on her way, but immediately has trouble with her prosthetic leg getting caught in the lines. Godwin gets up and back, while Sarah struggles. Karlyn makes it up and down as well, while Sarah reaches for some source of inner strength to get through. Tyler starts his climb, and passes Sarah in the process. The blonde Beauty (whichever) starts her climb, as Sarah finally makes it to the top, and back down safely. Man… this girl deserves a million already for all of this effort. She also deserves a nice man to take her out to dinner, and to punch Stupid Peter in the jaw. Any takers? Sarah and Stupid Peter are finally on their way to the next location, with the Beauties close behind.

The teams have to travel by their little boats to a cave, and search it for their next clue. There they will be told that it’s another Detour, where once again they get to enjoy experiencing tasks that locals must perform everyday for their livelihood. In the first “Over”, they must take a junk to a supply boat, and gather up as small row boat with goods, and deliver them to customers on a little floating village. After delivery, they must return the signed invoices back to the supply boat to get their next clue. In the second task, “Under”, teams must row a small boat out to an oyster farm, and pull up 30 oyster baskets, and then row them back and deliver them to a pearl farm to get their next clue.

Rude and Screamberly are the first to get in and out of the cave with their next clue, and start off to the Detour. Being in first place, they are in a good mood for the first time ever, and actually share a kiss. Looks fast folks, this will be the last time that they are nice to each other. They choose “Under” thinking it will require less rowing. HA! Are they in for a surprise! They get into their boat, and start trying to get to the oyster farm. It’s windy, and these old rowboats have a profile that just makes them get pushed around on the water with every little breeze. Let’s just say that Rude and Screamberly have one heck of a time trying to coordinate the rowing, and make any headway against the wind. So of course they begin nipping at each other. As things continue to get worse instead of better… they begin yelling at each other. As their amazing teamwork surprisingly does not help the situation… they begin screaming at each other. They finally make it to the oyster farm, but are so furious at each other it’s like watching a cock fight. (I mean roosters! Get your minds out of the gutter.) As they lean over to retrieve the oyster baskets, the boat almost tips over… and the screaming begins again. These two give me a headache. I wish their boat would flip over and conk them both on the head. Sadly, this does not happen… and through the sheer force of rage, they manage to finish the task and gather all of the baskets and head back to the pearl farm to retrieve their clue.

In the meantime, the other teams are arriving at the location for the Detour, and experiencing similar problems while navigating the boat in the wind. Most teams initially choose the “Over” task to deliver goods, but have such a hard time even getting to the location of the task, they switch to “Under” by default. Kar/Lyn are the only team that sticks with the “Over” task, and make their deliveries without too much problem. But when it comes to rowing their boat back to the supply ship, they get tossed around in the rough water like a cork, and almost end up smashed against the rocks. The physically stronger teams like the Models and Ed/Godwin, brute force their way through the task, fighting the wind to get to the oyster farm and grab the baskets. Even Stupid Peter, when given both of the oars, is able to maneuver their boat enough to collect baskets and get on their way, as does David when given the oars for their boat. However, the physically weaker teams, Tom & Jerry and the Beauties, struggle mightily against the wind and the ocean.

This season of TAR is kicking the butt of these teams, with challenges that are way beyond the everyday physical. Every single team struggled… but at the end of the day, our two least favorite teams somehow ended up on top. After screaming at each other non-stop, Rude and Screamberly manage to make it to the pit stop first. Obviously Phil had gotten word of their nastiness to each other, because after they arrived he asked them, “Are you treating each other well?” They both look sheepishly on the ground, and then mumble something about being very competitive and getting caught up in the moment. Yeah, whatever… all kinds of horrible crimes can be committed by people “caught up in the moment.” These two need to settle down and get some perspective, or head the heck home.

Stupid Peter, after bossing Sarah around all day and appreciating her not at all for the fantastically amazing effort she put forth, managed to row so well through the Detour task that they ended up in second. Man… I wish this guy would just self-destruct, and that Sarah would get that lightning bold of vision to see what a complete jerk this guy is. They can both go home, leave the money to some other team that is way more deserving, and Sarah can begin a life without this horrid person. But no… here they are, team number two. We’ll have to see what Stupid Peter has in store for us next week.

And then the two teams that rightfully should be in the top two positions, the Models and Ed/Godwin, check in. Soon after comes David and Mary, carried through the day’s challenges almost exclusively by David’s strength and determination. Kar/Lyn, two very tough mothers (and I mean that in the parenting sense), arrive next. I don’t know how these two did it. They are older and out of shape… but the brought it today! You go mommas!

Our final two teams are shown, struggling to finish the Detour tasks. Both have made it through the oyster farm and retrieved their baskets… but now both are struggling and near exhausted with dealing with the rowboats on the rough sea. The Beauties finish the oyster task and deliver the baskets… but along the way the water has sloshed all over their clue, and they can’t make out that they are supposed to row to the junk for a ride back to the pit stop. Instead, they think they are to row directly to the pit stop… so they start randomly rowing around the islands looking for Phil. This is when (say it isn’t so!) they begin snapping at one another, placing blame on who’s fault it was that the clue wasn’t put somewhere safe and got all torn up. Finally, logic takes over, and they decide they must have to go back to the junk… and they struggle against the waves and wind to get there.

In the meantime, Tom & Jerry have finished the task at well, but can make no headway against the wind when trying to row back to the junk. Finally, Terry/Jerry jumps in the water, grabs the boat by the rope, and begins swimming towards the junk, dragging the boat behind him. It’s slow, and exhausting, but he finally gets them back to the junk and on their way to the pit stop.

Now we are with Phil… waiting anxiously to see who will arrive first. The Beauties? Tom & Jerry? The suspense is awful! The music builds… and it is the Beauties! Still a bit pissy at each other, but arriving in time to claim the last spot. And then finally… looking like two drowned rats, Tom & Jerry arrive. They begin crying before Phil can even say the words. They are the last team to arrive… and are eliminated.

These two really worked so hard, I was sad to see them go. This whole episode was upsetting, because the teams that deserved it the least ended up on top… and the ones that worked the hardest and deserved it the most, ended up on the bottom. Amazing Race, you cruel trickster!! What will you have in store for us next?

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